Look At Her
by Playful-Kitten7
Summary: An alternate, much darker version of what happened in the hangar during S3E5. AU from the moment Solomon arrives. Be warned that this is dark and it is a Lizzington fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Look at her - Part 1**

 **This story is dark and not for the faint-hearted. After episode 5 this came to me as an alternative to the hangar scene. This is only my second fanfiction and I hope you don't hate it. Please be so kind to tell me what you think about it. Thanks for my amazing beta Meaghan for making this readable, you're the best.**

 **Disclaimer: No I don't own The Blacklist or its characters.**

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"What's the deal with you two anyways? It's what everybody wants to know. Some say it's a daddy-daughter thing, others swear it's May-September! I prefer to believe… it's a little of both."

Solomon walked up to Red, then stood in front of him, grinning.

"The fact that we're still alive means you need something from me. Whatever it is, let her go… my resources at your disposal. It's a limited time offer…" Red's voice sounded powerful and in control, thought he felt far from it.

"You see, Red, you're not in control here – I am. Elizabeth is going nowhere."

Solomon signaled for one of his men to stop there with the steel table he was moving towards them. With a nod of Solomon's head, the first man and another grabbed Liz. They fastened her hands together with a cable tie, while another two men tied Red's hands behind his back and pushed him down on the chair behind him. Solomon's other two men were pushing Lizzie down onto the table.

She was struggling against them; she even connected with the one guy's face with her knee before they finally pinned her down on the table. One man stood between her legs, keeping her feet down on the table with her knees bent. Another held her shoulders down though she was still trying to break free of their grasp. He knew that she was strong but she stood no chance against them. Even if she did break free there was nowhere to go. He was still being held down to the chair by two men; although he could take them easily, that would still leave Solomon and four other men. It was no use trying to break free since they would certainly get shot. He needed to stay calm and think of a plan.

Solomon walked up to Lizzie, lying on the table on her back. He took out a knife and slowly trailed the blade from her jaw and down her neck while speaking.

"I intend to be the hero of the people here. Hell, I might even get myself the bounty as well just as a little bonus. You caused us far more trouble than the Director imagined. So I will kill you, slowly… and yes, painfully, doll, but first we are going to have a little bit of fun."

He trailed the blade down her chest and to her side; Lizzie could feel cold sweat run down her forehead. She couldn't break free from the two men holding her down as they were too strong. If she struggled against their hold now, she risked being cut by the blade Solomon had at her stomach now. It wasn't the blade that made fear sweep like an Antarctic wind through her… no, it was his words.

Lizzie heard Red shout Solomon's name but he didn't respond. Again, Red called his name but still Solomon's attention was only on her. He moved the knife up again to the top of her shirt, moving it under the shirt, quirking her a sly smile when he popped the first button of her shirt with the blade. She knew that this was probably what he had in mind when he said 'fun', but still she hoped that it would be something else - anything else.

Red must have caught on to Solomon's intentions because she could hear his chair scratching against the cement floor of the hangar, as he struggled against the men holding him down.

"Solomon! Listen to me! Let her go and you can have me and every piece of information I have."

Lizzie registered the desperation in his voice although he tried to sound in control. This man would do everything for her, even offer himself up. This wasn't the first time either; she remembered that day with the gun to her head and him in the box. How he gave her a sad smile while giving the code to Anslo Garrick. He cared for her, and she saw that now more than ever before, with the sound of his voice near panic.

"Now Red, you have no bargaining chip here. I don't care what you have to offer."

With that being said, Solomon ripped the blade down her shirt and she could hear the sound of threads breaking and buttons hitting the floor and the steel table below her. Luckily, she still had a black camisole underneath and she wasn't exposed… yet. She started to panic, because if Red couldn't save her, he was about to witness her being exposed and raped in front of him. She couldn't bring herself to look his way, afraid to find her own fear mirrored in his eyes.

"Let her go now! This is your last warning Solomon! If you don't let her go right now, the world will not be small enough to hide you from me. Your worst nightmares wouldn't even begin to describe what I will do to you if you harm a single hair on her head."

She has never heard Red's voice filled with so much anger before. She was scared as a result and that anger wasn't even directed at her. It was the voice of the monster she knew he could be when it came to protecting her. She knew he was capable of anything when it came to protecting her; she had seen that first-hand.

"Red, you won't have the luxury of disappearing again after today. No, I will be dragging every piece of information out of you the same why I did with your dear Dembe, but not until after you watch me take and kill her right in front of you. The best part is that you won't be able to do a thing about it."

As if to prove a point, Solomon tore the camisole open with the knife. The pieces of material fell down her sides, exposing her skin. Her white lace bra didn't provide much covering but at least it was something, even though she knew that it wouldn't be there for long either. She couldn't bear to look at Solomon, so she moved her face to the side at the same moment as her name sounded from Red's lips.

She was staring straight into his eyes, and never had she seen fear in them like in that moment. His voice was full of panic and desperate. She didn't want to face him either, but it was him or Solomon. She didn't know what was worse: having to face the man she was in love with while being humiliated in the worst way possible, or the face of the person doing the humiliation. She hadn't even gotten to tell him that she was in love with him, she thought sadly. Their story was going to end before it even began. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks while she feared what was to come.

Red was going insane. He wished he could do anything to help her; to get her out of this mess. The way that those blue eyes were staring at him, full of fear and shame, was tearing away at his soul and he would give his life for hers in a heartbeat to spare her what was to come. He didn't know if he was strong enough to survive witnessing this. Her chest was heaving up and down from her ragged breathing. It caught his attention as he moved his eyes away from hers to her chest for the first time. Her skin was white and looked so soft, she was lean and even more beautiful than he could have imagined. The sight of her full, round breasts filling that white lace bra so perfectly made a flash of desire sizzle through him, so out of place in this situation that he immediate hated himself. How could his body react this way in a situation like this? This situation was so terrible, and yet it was still his Lizzie lying a few feet from him. It was his first sight of the woman he desired more than anything or anyone, exposed in front of him. His body couldn't help but react… he just hoped that she didn't see it.

"Well would you look at that. I think I found the answer to everyone's question." Solomon's voice quickly brought him back from his thoughts.

Red's head shot up and he stared at him with the most dangerous expression he could manage.

"By the look in Reddington's eyes just now when he stared at your chest, I would think that he's never seen you like this before, has he?"

Solomon dragged the blade down between her breasts, lingering there with the tip while laughing. Liz shot Solomon a glare, not answering him. She was beginning to blush, thinking of his words and their meaning.

"What's the matter, Elizabeth? You scared to let the world know that you want his eyes on you? Or is it more the fact that he doesn't know?"

Lizzie didn't know what to say, so she just stayed quiet. She didn't dare meet Red's eyes, afraid that he would see that Solomon had just struck a nerve.

"Bring him here." Salomon pointed at Red. The two men who were holding Red down were now dragging him towards them.

"This is going to be even more fun than I imagined." Solomon's sick laughter filled the hangar.

Red was dragged to the end of the table, standing barely two feet away from it. If she looked up now, she would look directly into his eyes.

"Now Reddington, I'm going to take what you could never have, and you are going to watch me."

Solomon's words had barely left his mouth when his blade cut through the middle of her bra, then the lace cups fell from her breasts and her top half was now completely naked. She wished the earth could just swallow her whole. Tears were dripping down her cheeks and down onto the metal table.

"No. No. No. Don't you look away now Reddington; we both know you want to look. I bet this little slut wants you to look, too."

She looked up just in time to see Red head-butt one man and then try to take down the other before two more men came to restrain him again. They gave him a few hits to the ribs and to the face, so now when he looked down at her there was a stream of blood flowing down the side of his eyebrow. He looked pained and it had nothing to do with the heavy blows he had just taken. To his credit, his eyes didn't drift down to her breasts; they stayed solemnly focused on her face.

"Now Reddington, you can either decide to look or I will make this even harder for your girlfriend here." Solomon's voice filled the air again.

Reddington's eyes didn't leave her own. She saw fear, desperation, panic, anger, and so many other emotions in that gaze. Then a hot, sharp pain shot from her chest and she screamed. Solomon had cut a line across the top of one of her breasts. It wasn't a long cut, about two inches, and it wasn't that deep either, but the hot blood was streaming down her breast.

"No! Don't hurt her!" Red shouted at Solomon.

"Then look at her, Reddington." Solomon looked pleased with himself as he watched Reddington's resolve crumble. Solomon knew that Reddington would do anything within his power to prevent Keen from experiencing any more harm than necessary.

She shot her head up in panic, staring into Red's eyes. His eyes were pleading with her for forgiveness, she could tell, as he slowly moved his eyes from hers and then settled his gaze onto her bare chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**The darkness continues…. Thank you so much for each review, follow and favorite. They make my day! A big shout out to my amazing beta Meaghan, I wouldn't be able to do this without her. Thank you everyone for you interest in my fanfic. Please tell me what you think in a review, I'd appreciate it! Disclaimer: No I don't own them or the Blacklist….but a girl can dream right?**

 **LOOK AT HER - PART 2**

His eyes drifted down to Lizzie's exposed chest. Her cream-coloured breasts were the perfect shape and so beautiful but this was not how he had pictured seeing her for the first time. Yes, he had been dreaming about the moment he could feast his eyes on her, but never in his worst nightmares did he think it would be like this. The cut above her left breast was bleeding; red, thick blood was streaming down her breast to the valley in between, and down to her stomach. His insides clenched at the sight of the blood pooling there. He hated Solomon more than anyone or anything in that moment. He wanted to kill the man for hurting his Lizzie. He didn't want to see her this way, not like this, but he knew if he refused Solomon that it would bring more pain to Lizzie. He was hurting her just by looking at her, but Solomon had them in a precarious position… and he knew that he had the advantage. Red vowed to make Solomon pay.

"Like what you see, Red?" Solomon's voice dared him to look up at him again.

Red didn't answer him; he knew that it would bring nothing good to tell him to let her go or to stop. He knew enough about men like this one, to know that nothing he could say now would be able to change his mind; it may just have to opposite effect and infuriate him more. Red didn't want to be the reason for Lizzie feeling any more pain than necessary. He didn't look at her again; he just kept his eyes on Solomon knowing that he would continue.

"So now I know that this is definitely not a daddy-daughter thing, not with that lust in your eyes when you're looking at her. So tell me, why haven't you fucked her already?"

Red was biting the inside of his cheek so hard that he was drawing blood. He needed to stay in control, to not lash out… to not do anything that could make matters worse. He was having trouble staying calm even though Raymond Reddington was a man who was always in control. Even if he wasn't he made sure to change the roles quickly. Now, however, he found himself unable to do so because of the love he had for the woman lying in front of him.

"Don't tell me this little slut is playing hard to get?"

Red balled his fist at his words. How dare he insult Lizzie in this way? Solomon trailed his hand up her side and squeezed the breast that wasn't covered in blood. Lizzie tried to get away from his grasping hand, but it was useless. The men were holding her in position and she didn't have enough room to get away. He didn't like when other men even looked at her, he was that possessive. The idea of a man touching her like this made him feel sick to his stomach; watching it made him feel like he was about to explode in anger. The fact that a man was touching her without her consent made his internal monster come forth. The things he was thinking of doing to Solomon at that moment, with his hand on his dear Lizzie's breast, would certainly get him locked up in a psych-ward. He had to contain himself for the right moment, though, or they would both be worse than dead.

"Boys, take off her pants." Solomon ordered with his hand still on Lizzie's chest.

He wished that this was just one of his nightmares, that he could open his eyes and drown the horrific images with a bottle of expensive scotch. They were taking her pants off and she was screaming now, trying to thrash against their restraining hands. His heart clenched in pain at the sound. Here he was, standing and doing nothing, not even able to help her. He had never felt this helpless before. Not only was he helpless to aid Liz against her accosters, but he was also finding it hard to prevent his mind from thinking certain thoughts that were immensely inappropriate to the situation. He hated even this small part that he was playing in her discomfort, even if she couldn't know quite what he was thinking. She was now lying on the steel table with only her matching white lace panties. She was truly beautiful… he could just imagine those gorgeous legs wrapping around his waist. He didn't dare look away again, afraid that Solomon may hurt her more if he did. What was the point really? Solomon was going to do something far worse to her than the pain felt from the cut of a blade. He tried to at least shutter his thoughts and feelings from his eyes, lest Lizzie catch glimpse of his covetous gaze.

Lizzie tried to evade Solomon's touch but it was useless. The way he was touching her made her nauseous. The worst of it all was that this was only the beginning. She wished that he would just kill her. Hell, he could even kill her slowly, as long as what was about to happen, never happened. She knew that it was weak of her, wishing for her own death, but she didn't care.

"Please don't, I'll do anything you ask."

She didn't care that she was begging him; no, the only thing she cared about now was getting him to stop.

"No doll, I'm afraid that begging won't do you any good. You see, I've got this all planned out. Maybe we can make a few adjustments to make this even more fun."

Solomon's wicked grin made her even more scared, because she knew that whatever he had in mind wouldn't be good.

"Mr. Reddington, why don't you join us here… and don't even think about doing anything stupid."

Solomon pushed the blade of the knife against Lizzie's neck to make it clear what would happen if he tried to interfere. She felt the pressure of the knife at her throat and tried to stay still. The two men holding Red let him go and he was making his way to her now. His eyes fixed on her face. She knew this was probably just as bad for him as it was for her. She knew how much he cared. He even told her that she was his north star, his way home… She wished now that she had told him that night how much he means to her, about her feelings for him. She wished she could apologize for all the times that she said things to hurt him. She wished for so many things, but most of all she just wished for time… with him.

"Take off his restraints," Solomon ordered his men.

"Seeing that you didn't have a chance earlier, I think it would be really good manners for me to give you the opportunity to touch her."

Red's whole expression was filled with shock and she was sure that her own expression mirrored his. His mouth opened as if to answer and then it just closed again. She thought the situation couldn't get any worse, but apparently she was wrong. It wasn't that she didn't want his touch. In fact, she dreamed and fantasized about Red worshipping her body, eliciting moans and sounds of pleasure. This situation, however, was straight out of her worst nightmares. Although the whole situation was wrong and sick, how was she going to hide her reaction to his touch? Whenever their hands simply brushed against each other when he was handing her a wine glass, she could feel the electricity. When she hugged him in the car earlier, it was the same thing. She just wanted to be held in his arms. This was going to be even more embarrassing than she'd thought. Having him touch his bare hand to her bare skin would be infinitely worse than innocent touches… She looked at him again and there was some kind of determination on his face that she didn't understand.

"I'm not going the touch a woman without her consent." Red's voice was clear and final.

Solomon's laughter filled the air and it made her even more uneasy.

"You're mistaken if you think that you have a choice in the matter, Reddington."

Suddenly there was a sharp pain on her thigh. She couldn't help but scream at the burning, unexpected pain. She looked down to find a long cut across her upper thigh, the blade still resting at the end of the wound. It burned as if the blade had been lying in fire before he made the long cut. She was crying again; she didn't know if she had ever really stopped crying.

"Red, please!" Her voice broke over the plea for him to make it stop.

His eyes were filled with torture and pain. He looked like he was about to break at the sound of her voice. Was she imagining it, or were his eyes filled with tears? She couldn't be sure because the tears streaming out of her own eyes made it hard to see clearly.

"Red, please it's okay, please just do what he asks." Her voice was still unsteady but she hoped that he would answer her plea; she just wanted the pain to stop. Solomon was turning the blade in her open wound, and she was just about to scream again from the pain.

"Fine!" Reddington shouted abruptly. He just wanted her to not hurt anymore. The way her eyes were pleading with him to make it stop broke his heart. He walked closer, coming to stand by her side. He saw Solomon finally lift the blade out of the wound on her thigh. He was so tense that he didn't know what to do or how to do it, which truly was a new sensation for him.

He didn't want to make her feel any more uncomfortable or embarrassed than she was already feeling. Truth be told, the only way he wanted to touch his nearly naked Lizzie in front of him, at this moment, was to comfort her, to ease the pain, to try and make everything better. He knew that he wasn't able to do that now, but he still wanted to let her know that this wasn't over. He wanted her to know that he would find a way, when the opportunity presented itself, to save her. He settled on taking her hand, next to her side, enveloping it in his and giving it a squeeze, conveying reassurance and his promise as best he could. He just prayed to the Gods that he would be able to keep it. He met her eyes and tried his best to make her understand his feelings.

Lizzie felt her heart hammer in her chest as he took her hand. It was resting at an uncomfortable angle, tied behind her back as her hands were, but he still managed to get a firm grip on it. His eyes - oh those beautiful green eyes - tried their best to make her believe that everything was going to be okay. It was also a plea for forgiveness for what he was about to do. She could see that it was tearing him apart, the idea of what he was about to do.

She wanted him to know that she didn't blame him for what he was being forced to do; that she would never hold these despicable actions against the man that she loved. She softened her gaze and let forgiveness seep into her eyes as she held his own, hoping that he could understand what she was trying to impart to him.

She followed his hand with her eyes as he moved it to lie across her stomach. His hand was warm and rough. She felt her abdominal muscles quiver beneath his touch.

"You'd better start really touching her or else…"

Solomon's threat brought his eyes up to hers again. She could see the apology there, the horror of it all. But underneath all that there was adoration… she could see it. She could feel it in the soft manner that he was touching her. He moved his hand up slowly to cup her left breast. She tried her best not to react, but a small gasp left her mouth. It was hard not to be hyperaware of who exactly was touching her, even with the other onlookers. Her thoughts and senses seemed to have narrowed to him and him alone.

His eyes never left hers for a second. His face looked soft, but pained. He softly squeezed her breast in his hand and she couldn't help her body's reaction. She felt her nipples getting hard at his touch. She could see the exact moment he felt it, because a fleeting look of desire crossed his expression. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to think about the situation and not his soft touch. She shouldn't be enjoying this, but a distant part of her mind told her that this is what happens when there is almost three years of sexual tension between two people, just begging to be dealt with. His hand slipped from her chest, drawing her out of her thoughts, and his eyes left hers to look at Solomon. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Raymond simply glared at Solomon. If looks could kill, Solomon would've been a pile of ash in that moment. He hated the man for spoiling their first intimate touch like this; for making him touch her like that. He just hoped that Solomon wouldn't ask for more, because he didn't know if he could take any more of this.

"That was quite… touching." Solomon's laughter at his own pun sounded through the hangar as he went to stand near Liz again. The man was truly sick.

"Maybe after I'm finished with her I'll make you take her."

Solomon moved so that he was between Lizzie's legs. Red could feel the cold fear surrounding him, suffocating him. He needed to act, and quickly. He just needed an opportune moment, a distraction, anything. He knew that he was most likely going to get himself killed but the thought didn't stop him. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. If it meant he needed to die to save her from this, then it would be a small price to pay. It wasn't like he actually had a choice in the matter. Love, all-consuming love for her, made the choice for him - that's what love meant, to be powerless. He just hoped that an opportunity would present itself that would lead to the highest chance of success, because he knew the chances were slim. That's why he hadn't acted already, but time was running out and he couldn't let this carry on much longer.

Solomon trailed his fingers up her thighs, up her chest, and then he slipped two fingers into Lizzie's mouth, shoving them so deep that he could see her neck move with her gag reflex. Then suddenly, Solomon's muffled scream filled the hangar and Red knew that this was the moment he'd been waiting for. He hit the guy to his right straight in the throat, making him drop to the ground while gasping for breath. He made quick work of the guy to his left, getting his gun before the thug could reach for it. He fired two shots into his stomach, letting the body fall onto him, keeping it upright for a shield as the other men started firing shots. He only prayed that his plan would work, that they would be focused on him and forget about Lizzie.

He fired at the two men behind Lizzie, both hitting the ground shortly thereafter, but he felt a burning sensation in his left arm. He turned to take the other men out after briefly checking on Lizzie. He saw that she was still struggling with Solomon, but his blade was luckily out of his hand and it looked like she could handle herself for the moment. The next moments happened in a matter of seconds… he was firing at the rest of the men when he felt another shot of pain in his right side. He didn't have enough power left to hold up the dead body as a shield anymore and he felt himself weakening.

At that precise moment, a series of shots fired from the far side of the hangar and he saw the remaining men drop to the ground one by one. He looked up at the source and never was he more grateful to see that the face of their savior belonged to Dembe; his friend, his brother. He quickly turned again to help Lizzie, gathering a second wind of strength to him. She was lying on her back on the floor with Solomon on top of her, strangling her. With a quick, hard hit to the head from Red's borrowed Glock, Solomon fell on his side next to Lizzie. He struggled to turn over and grab his firearm but Red was too quick for him. He fired an entire clip into Solomon's chest. He was grimly glad that he had just switched clips. In fact, he wished he had another to use.

He looked around to find Dembe standing over Vargas' body. Good, he thought, it was because of him that they nearly didn't get to walk out of this hangar. He stumbled over to his friend and hugged him tightly, kissing him on the cheek. After making sure his friend was at least stable, he hurried as fast as his pained body was capable to where Lizzie was still lying on the floor. He sank to his knees beside her. She came up to a sitting position, throwing her body towards him as if to hug him, but her hands tied behind her back prevented her from doing so. He took up Solomon's blade and cut her loose. He was barely finished when she threw herself into his arms. He let out a grunt of pain and relief. She was safe… that was all that mattered, he thought, as he tried to ignore the pain and blood oozing from his wounds.


	3. Chapter 3

**I sincerely apologize for the long wait for this update (got a bit side tracked with my other stories). Thank you for each and every review! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and please tell me what you think. If you maybe want to see a fourth chapter please let me know. I want to thank Meaghan for doing a wonderful job as beta on this story and I appreciate it a lot. Disclaimer: No I don't own the Blacklist or the characters.**

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"It's alright, sweetheart. You're safe now. I've got you."

Red tried to calm her down; her whole body was shaking with her sobbing. Her tears were wet on his neck and her grip on his shoulders was painful. He could hold her like this forever, even if it meant that he would bleed out. However, she was pushing against his wounds and drenching herself in his blood. Then he realized that she was missing her shirt and bra. Her soft mounds were pressing against his chest and he felt his body react to the realization. It felt so good. He didn't want the moment to end, but he also didn't want to embarrass her.

"Lizzie," he grunted.

He slowly took her by the arms, creating some space between them; but not too much – just enough that she wasn't applying to much pressure on his wounds. She seemed to realize that she was causing him pain, because she backed further away from his body with an apology. He slowly took off his vest and handed it to her, his eyes solemnly focused on hers. He saw the precise moment that she realized her lack of clothing, because her eyes filled with shock and her cheeks became a lovely shade of pink. She quickly put on his vest to cover her up as best she could, because it was definitely too big for her.

"We will get you something to wear once we're onboard."

Lizzie's cheeks flushed further and she stuttered a thank you and an apology for hurting him.

"It's quite all right." He stared at her red, swollen eyes as he talked.

"You saved me… you nearly died saving me." Her voice was soft and it made Red feel like he was floating – or was that the loss of blood. He wasn't completely sure at this moment.

"Always," was all he uttered; he couldn't tear his gaze away from her. She was staring at him in a way he had only gotten glimpses of before – so short that he would always think that he'd imagined it. Now, however, she was staring at him openly with that look. He didn't know what it meant; he only knew that it made his heart skip a beat.

He needed to get them on the plane and in the air quickly so that they could get to safety. He knew that if she stared at him any longer in that way that he would kiss her. He couldn't even believe she was touching him at this moment. Most victims of the crime that had just taken place would dread physical contact with another person. He didn't want to push her or make her any more uncomfortable than she already was.

"We need to leave, to get patched up."

He stood up with much less pain than he had anticipated. He made a few phone calls and soon his associates were there. Mr. Kaplan was there to clean up the mess and anther pilot for their flight. Dembe was taken to a safe house with medical personnel. It all happened in a matter of minutes. Lizzie argued with him to join Dembe but he insisted that he was not going to leave her to fly alone. The whole time Lizzie was at his side. After all the time they'd spent together, she was still amazed at the length of this man's resources and the loyalty of his employees.

Lizzie helped Red to take a seat on one of the jet's leather seats while the pilot was preparing for takeoff. His whole shirt was covered in blood. After takeoff she helped herself to a black hoodie and a pair of loose sweat pants she found within the contents of the bag he said contained her things. The cut just above her breast stopped bleeding but the one on her leg was still bleeding slowly.

She studied herself in the bedroom mirror of the jet. She still had a wild and frightened look on her face, but somehow she could also see the look of someone that had been awarded a second chance. That was how she felt, looking at her reflection right then. She came so close to a dreadful act… but even more than that, the fear of losing him still frightened her more. That moment when he'd jolted into action, her only thought was 'just please let us make this through'.

She didn't want things to end so abruptly. They were just getting to know each other better and she got to see a side of him she didn't get the chance to before working with him at the FBI. He'd saved her tonight, just like he always had,;although she didn't even know it at certain times. He'd saved her from a scam of a marriage, from the Stewmaker, from Anslo Garrick, and even further he left everything to save her yet again when she'd killed Tom Connolly by running away with her.

However, she did return the favor when she got the chance. She'd saved him at the auction and she could still remember his scolding features at her reckless deed. How could she explain to him, that night, that she would be completely lost if he was to die or leave her? When she begged him to keep fighting, when the sniper bullet pierced his chest that day… she'd realized what he meant to her.

She returned her focus to her surroundings again and found that not all the blood was hers. She had blood smeared on her bare skin from his wounds. She blushed when she realized how she'd reacted without a second thought by just jumping into his arms. She didn't even bother to think that she was wearing only her little lace underwear at the time. She'd just wanted to be in him arms, to feel him against her alive and to know that she was safe now. It was only after the adrenaline subsided and he pushed her away that she realized that she was bare-chested. Her face flushed again as she realized the extent of her actions. Well he did see and touch her when she was lying there waiting for the worst to come, but that was different; he didn't have a choice….and she did. Before she could dwell on the thought any further or could start cleaning the wounds, she heard Red call for her.

He was still sitting were she had left him but next to him was an open medical bag. He'd taken off his shirt while she'd been gone. His body displayed a few scars and her eager eyes studied them. She could see bullet wounds, knife marks, cigar burns… and then her eyes drifted to the small, still red scar form the sniper who had shot him that day when she'd given him the fulcrum. She felt herself shiver at the memory. She was so sure that she was going to lose him that day. She was so scared of facing everything alone, that she realized what a huge part he played in her life. She knew that day that if he left, there would be a gap in her life, in her heart, that would never be filled again.

Her eyes moved to the new wounds – the ones that were blood smeared. She didn't fail to realize that there were soft golden curls on his chest. She had an urge to just move her fingers through those curls to get the feeling of his skin against hers with the soft chest hair tickling her fingertips. She realized that she was staring because he cleared his throat and her eyes drifted up to his.

She sat opposite him, waiting for him to speak. He didn't seem to be in too much pain because a smirk was edging at the corners of his mouth. He seemed amused.

"Lizzie, when you are finished looking I'm going to need your help," he chuckled.

She searched her brain for an appropriately witty answer but she couldn't find any.

"I need you to help me patch up these wounds. The one on my side is just a graze from a bullet. I've been lucky; it won't need any stitches and you can just clean it to prevent infection and then just put a bandage on. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky with the one on my arm. I need you to check for an exit wound."

Lizzie came to stand in front of him. She quietly took in his broad chest and his muscular arms before she got to work. His body was in great shape; apparently being number four on the FBI's Most Wanted list meant a lot of training and gym sessions. Somehow she couldn't quite picture Red on his back doing bench presses. She giggled at the idea.

"Something funny I should know about?" His voice was full of teasing.

"Uhm no…it's nothing."

Before Red could ask again, she started inspecting his left arm for an exit wound. She worked softly so as not to cause him any further pain.

"It seems you got lucky again, because the bullet went right through. There is a clean exit wound and the bullet didn't hit the bone. I'm just going to clean the wound and wrap it up. When we land you can get further medical attention if you need."

Red picked up something next to him and then, when he screwed off the top, she saw the bottle of bourbon. He took two healthy gulps before he passed the bottle to her. She didn't hesitate – she just took the bottle from him and took a few sips herself. Letting the alcohol burn down her throat to her stomach. It would probably help her steady her nerves. He took two painkillers and she got to work.

She was quite uncomfortable touching him this intimately. After all, he'd just seen her nearly naked. Heat pooled in her stomach at the thought and she was sure that the heat was creeping to her cheeks as well.

She cleaned the wound and he took some more bourbon before she stitched up his arm and then bandaged it. He didn't even pull a face at the needle piercing his skin with each new stitch.

Red rested his head against the back of the chair, his eyes closed as she finished up his shoulder. It didn't hurt that much; he was used to far worse. The numbing gel she applied worked well and the painkillers had already made the dull ache in his shoulder subside. Her fingers moved to his side and he quickly opened his eyes to look at her work. Her fingertips were ghosting softly next to the wound over his stomach. He knew that he needed to stay in control because he was utterly aware of how good her fingertips felt against his skin. He tried to focus on her cleaning the wound, but his mind and body kept drifting to her touch. He wished that she could just finish and at the same time he wished that his whole body was covered in wounds so that she could touch every inch of him like that.

"Lizzie, I'm sorry." His voice sounded something between husky and a plea for forgiveness.

Lizzie's hands stilled where they were cleaning the wound on his side and she looked up to study his face. He had a pained expression that she could tell had nothing to do with the wound she was just cleaning.

"What for?" She couldn't hold his stare because it was too intense for her. She quietly dropped her head and picked up the bandage for his side.

"I know after what happened in there you're probably dreading touching me or partaking in _any_ contact for that matter…"

She didn't let him finish. "Red, that was not your fault; you simply did what you needed to do to spare me further pain." Her voice was so sure of herself even though it was soft. Even softer, she continued. "You only did what I asked you to do, so thank you."

"Lizzie!" His voice was sad and it bared his shame.

"Stop, Red, please. Whatever you may think, you helped me in there. He would have sliced and diced me like I was something he was serving his dog. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no. I don't feel like that; I'm a profiler and I know what my reaction to all this could be, but it's not. You saved me. You risked your life to save me, and for that I'm grateful. And no, I don't dread your touch…" She finished off with determination, putting her hand on his chest just over his heart for emphasis.

She could feel his soft skin underneath her fingertips and the texture of his chest hair. But most importantly, she could feel his heartbeat. More specifically, she could feel his racing heart. Wait… why was Raymond Reddington's heartbeat going as fast as a man who'd run fifty miles…?

Then it hit her… or as fast as a man who's aroused? Lizzie felt her own heartbeat speed up as if it was in sync with his. In a mixture of shock and surprise she met his eyes. What she found there she didn't expect at all; not from the calm and collected Concierge of Crime. His eyes were filled with desire. His stare was hot and intense like hot molten lava, and it made her melt… as cliché as it sounded, it was what it was.

Before she could utter a word or move her hand away, Red shifted, collecting the first aid kit and moving it to his side, ending their moment.

"Lizzie, if you're certain that you're all right then I think I should clean your wounds to make sure that they don't get infected."

His voice was a bit lower than usual and even shaky. That meant that he must be just as affected as she was by their intimate moment. Her mind was scrambling and she needed to get a hold of herself if she was going to have Red's hands all over her. Just the thought of it made heat pool in her stomach. She looked at Red but couldn't quite meet his eyes; she just nodded.

"Lizzie, if you're not comfortable with this you can wait, although I don't recommend it as I won't be able to get you to trusted medical care in the next 48 hours. "

"It fine, Red. Besides, you did just see it all an hour ago so what's the big deal?" Lizzie tried to make a joke of it but she failed miserably; her voice was shaky and she was fidgeting nervously with the bottle of scotch he'd handed her. She took a few big gulps and handed him the bottle. He followed her example and then placed the bottle on the small table.

"Let's start with the cut on your leg." His voice was steady but still lower than she was used to.

Lizzie slowly got up, and she saw his eyes follow her movement. She quickly pulled of her sweat pants. Standing awkwardly in her black zip up hoodie and black lace panties she waited for him to tell her where he wanted her. She silently swore at Red for having indisputable taste in lingerie.

"I think it's best if you came and stood between my legs – that way I can inspect the cut." Red didn't meet her eyes as he spoke softly.

Lizzie moved till she was standing between his legs, her knees touching his thighs. She tried to think of something else – anything else. She wanted to keep her mind off the anticipation of his hands on her bare skin.

Red took a look at the cut on her upper leg and was relieved to see that it didn't need stiches. That meant that the one on her breast wouldn't need any either. Relief flooded his body, because that meant that they could get this over with sooner and his body could calm down. He was still wired tightly from having to keep himself under control when she was seeing to his wound, and he didn't know how long he could handle this sweet torture. He took his left hand and placed it at the back of her thigh to steady her leg while he cleaned the wound. He applied anesthetic and covered the wound with a bandage. He kept himself solemnly focused on the job at hand and tried to ignore the way her skin felt like velvet underneath his fingertips. Was he imagining it or did she have goose bumps? He wished right then that it was the thought of him that made her body react that way, because it really couldn't be that she was cold. In fact… was it just him, or was it way too hot in here?

"This one's all done. It will heal quickly; the cut's not deep," he said as if this was the normal routine of his day.

He waited for her to put on her pants again. He tried to give her some 'room' by staring out the window of the plane, but he couldn't really see anything except the clouds. When she was finished, she cleared her throat and he turned his head back to her. She was standing, unsure of herself, in front of him and waiting for his orders.

"Maybe you should sit down for this one." He tried his best to keep his voice even, but the truth was that he was slowly losing his cool. Just the thought of what he was about to do was enough to make him twitch in his pants.

She sat down on her chair and stood and placed the first aid kit next to her. He was thinking of sitting next to her and cleaning the cut but then she would have to turn towards him as well and he didn't want to cause her any more pain. So he simply knelt on his knees in front of her. His head was now the same height as her torso and it would be ideal to clean her wound. He patiently waited for her.

Oh hell, Raymond Reddington was down on his knees in front of her and the last thing on her mind was the fact that he was doing so to clean her wound. Her mind could only come up with sexy alternatives to the situation. Not that this situation wouldn't be. He was going to see her bare-chested again and he was going to touch her again, there. Something between panic and arousal flooded her senses. She slowly pulled down the zipper of her hoodie. She first just wanted to pull it down halfway but then she realized that it would limit him when he cleaned the wound and, either way, he would see her. So she slowly pulled down the zipper till the two parts of the material folded open like an invitation. She knew that he could only see the valley between her breast at the moment, and the curves or her mounds, but the sides of the hoodie were still covering the rest.

He looked up at her, his eyes hooded, and she could tell that he was waiting for her approval. She gave a quick nod and watched as he pulled the one side of the hoodie over her left shoulder, leaving it halfway down. This way he would have enough access and, like the gentleman he was, Red wanted her to feel like she still had modesty. She appreciated the thought, but she still felt like she was without a single stitch of clothing in front of him in that moment.

When she looked down at him, she found him staring at her breasts. She felt self-conscious as hell because she knew the reason why he was staring and it had nothing to do with the cut above her left breast. Her nipples were hard and, if she must be honest, they'd been that way since the moment he'd touched her on that dreaded table in the hangar. The fact that she had to touch him just now, and their little moment, made matters only worse. When he met her eyes, they were filled with a mixture of desire and lust. He didn't even try to hide it; it was there, open for her to see. She could see that he was clenching his jaw by the way the little muscle at his jaw jumped. He was fighting for control and she could see it.

He slowly, tentatively, reached out with the wet cloth and patted the cut above her left breast to clean the blood. She almost gasped at the cold feeling of the wet cloth against her extremely hot skin. She felt the water drops run down her breast and over her stomach. Red placed his left hand on her knee to steady himself while he took a towel and chased the drops from the clean cut, over her breast, and to her stomach. Even though it wasn't his fingers caressing her, she still felt a shiver run down her spine. He smeared the cut with some antiseptic balm and her breathing was coming faster. He covered the wound with a bandage. She stopped breathing entirely when she felt his fingers seal the edges. She could feel the lace getting wet between her legs as the heat pooled there. She longed for him to drift his hand just two inches lower to her aroused nipple. His hand swept over her collarbone and the other came to rest against her cheek. She met his eyes and found her own desires staring back at her.

"Lizzie."

His voice was more a growl than anything else and, before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers. His lips met hers and she was lost. Lost to the feeling of his kiss. Lost to him. Nothing else would ever make as much sense as the way she felt right at that moment, with him kissing her. He deepened the kiss and she let him into her mouth with a moan. His tongue was stroking hers in a way that must be a sin. He plundered and explored every inch of her mouth like he would never get the chance to again. His tongue against hers brought her back from her own thoughts and she put everything she had into the kiss. She gave as much as she took. His hands were travelling to her waist and his broad hands were spanning over her bare skin. She bit down on his bottom lip, playfully tugged it, and then soothed in with her tongue. He moaned into her mouth. They were both in desperate need of air so they slowly pulled apart.

Their foreheads rested against each other while they both tried to get their breathing under control. He met her eyes and what she saw there wasn't the desire she expected. No, the desire was still there but the more evident emotion was… was that _regret_ shining from those beautiful eyes of his?

"I'm so sorry, Lizzie…" His voice sounded pained and he broke off mid-sentence.

She couldn't look at him anymore, not while he clearly didn't feel the same way. She was so sure however, in the way he kissed and touched her gently… There was no way that he could deny the electricity that had just exploded when they'd kissed. Then why would he look at her like that? She felt a warm tear roll down her cheek; she didn't want to be crying now. She didn't want to look weak and heartbroken but she couldn't help it. His rejection was worse than any of the pain Solomon had inflicted on her.

"Oh God, sweetheart, I'm sorry…" His voice was shaking and he sounded on the verge of tears himself.

"Red, just don't…" Her own voice matched his shaking one but hers was entangled with anger.

"Lizzie, I'm sorry. I should have had better control, but I'm just a man. I know I shouldn't have kissed you and for that I'm sorry. After everything that happened today, you don't deserve this." He sounded broken, his voice a mere low growl.

"I'm not!" she said, surprised at his words. She thought he didn't want to kiss her but now he was apologizing for other reasons.

"I'm not sorry you kissed me," she voiced again with a little bit more determination.

She promised herself, lying on that steel table in the hangar, that if the moment presented itself, she would take a leap of faith and tell him how she felt about him. This was her chance; it probably wasn't the best situation or setting but did she really need that? All that mattered was that this loving, caring man, who would go to the ends of the earth for her, knew the love she harbored for him.

His eyes met hers and they were filled with surprise and hope. The hope she saw there gave her the strength to see this all the way through. There were so many things that she wanted to say, to apologize for, to thank him for, to ask him… but she ended up saying the simplest, truest thing.

"I'm in love with you." Her voice was soft but sure and her gaze never left his.

He let out a soft gasp and she saw a tear run down his cheek. He cupped her face in his big strong hands and gave her the sweetest, most tender kiss of her life. The kiss was laced with feelings of hope, love, happiness, and second chances. It ended way too soon for her liking. He traced his fingertips over her cheeks and planted soft kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and eyelids. When he drew back just to stare deeply into her eyes she could see nothing but love.

"I never dreamed that I would be so lucky to hear those words from you. You just made me the happiest man in the world. Lizzie, you're my world, you're my life, and I love you more than words could ever convey." His voice broke off with all the emotions he was experiencing.

She leaped over and kissed him for all that she was worth, trying to show him how much he meant to her with every brush of her lips on his, every sweep of her tongue, and every nibble of her teeth, while her hands punctuated her love for this man even further.


End file.
